12 Years of Solitude
by wickedmusicallover095
Summary: One shot of Sirius' perspective from the Potters' deaths to seeing Harry for the first time after his time in Azkaban.


**12 Years of Solitude**

"Hagrid!" Sirius called arriving in front of the smoldering remains of Jame's and Lily's home. He stepped off his bike carelessly nearly letting the bike and sidecar to topple over. He looked at the home knowing his best friends had died in there.

"Voldemort he- Pettigrew-" Sirius stammered to Hagrid then he saw Harry. He was bundled up in a blanket half asleep. His eyes were partially closed and he was hiccuping from dying sobs.

"Everything's going to be alright Harry," he smiled, "Your parents- they were good people, just like you'll be." Hagrid let Sirius hold Harry as he sent an owl to Professor Dumbledore.

"He's my godson Hagrid, please let me take him. I'm all he has." Hagrid huffed and frowned as if mulling over the thought.

"I'm sorry Sirius, but I have orders from Professor Dumbledore. He's got family- on his mum's side."

"How do you know he'll be safe? With the muggles?"

"Just like you knew you'd be safe with the Potters," Hagrid said. Hagrid knew of everyone in the Order and he knew most of their stories, Harry wouldn't be the only son that wouldn't grow up without his parents due to You-Know-Who's wrath.

"He'll be safe with 'em Sirius," Hagrid said clamping his hand on the young man's shoulder.

"He's supposed to come with me- not Lily's sister. James and Lily appointed me godfather in events of," Sirius said his voice rising as he waved his arms at the remains of his best friends's house. Then he started to cry, clutching Harry to his chest holding on to the one piece he had of James and Lily. Hagrid clutched his shoulder tighter and Sirius eventually gave Harry back. He stepped away offering his motor bike and safe travels. He wish he had something to give to the boy but all he had with him was his wand.

Hagrid placed the now sleeping Harry in the sidecar and sat on the bike. He waved goodbye to Sirius and flew off towards the place Sirius would find himself in 12 years. Sirius wiped away his tears and saw something- someone running away

"Pettigrew! You little rat! How dare you! How dare you sell them out!" He roared mere feet from the man. He raised his wand ready to case a curse that should have been against the law but what this man before him had done was unforgivable. Crowds of people were bustling around them, going from one shop, one bar, to the next but Sirius didn't care.

"Confringo!" Pettigrew shouted as Sirius started thrust his wand at his opponent. He ducked just in time as the explosion went off, Pettigrew had never been good at silent incantations. Instantly Sirius looked at the ground, he saw a bloody finger and a rat tracks in the ash. Pettigrew was gone and Sirius was blamed.

* * *

Sirius begged for veritiserum, he'd survive getting in trouble for being an illegal Animagus as long as they searched for Pettigrew. As long as they went after that rat. Why had he not trusted Remus? Why had he shut him out? He shuffled through the one Daily Prophet he had. He, along with James, Lily, Harry and Peter were front page news. Everyone else was rejoicing because Voldemort had fallen. And according to the Prophet he was just one of many death eaters caught or soon to be caught.

He sat in this cell not even receiving a trial having been assumed guilty the moment Pettigrew turned himself into a rat. The dementors swarmed when he had been brought in but few floated away knowing he wasn't guilty of murder, all he felt was remorse for what he should have done, for not being fast enough. He heard groans and the occasional curse yelled towards him. He, along with James, Remus and the rest of the Order had put many death eaters away. Remus would for sure think he was a death eater now if he didn't before.

He tried to plead his innocence but they refused to listen. He even listed off names only to learn that Severus was being protected by Dumbledore! He had the dark mark! He had called Lily a mudblood. And now he was probably a professor at Hogwarts. Sirius howled at Dumbledore when the man visited him in Azkaban weeks or months later, it was hard to keep track of the date. Dumbledore listened to him yell and scream because he knew what it was like to lose someone when it was their fault.

"You've been convicted Sirius," the professor said.

"It was Pettigrew! He was their secret keeper- I convinced James-" but he held his hand up.

"Sirius, is there anything you have that will set you free?" Before Sirius could say anything someone entered telling Dumbledore he needed to leave. Why did that old man care? He helped put him here.

As the dementors chipped pieces from him Sirius remained optimistic that he'd get out. They never took his soul but his optimism dwindled as years passed. The dementors did suck all joy out of you. It was hard to remember his days past, ones spent with his friends on the grounds of Hogwarts castle. Making the Animagus potion was just a faint memory as were the ones of him and James sneaking under his cloak.

There were some that were clear. Him and Remus fighting, a constant state of arguing about trust and Voldemort. Him fighting with his mother when he left home at sixteen. Him giving Harry a broom for his first birthday to James delight and Lily's horror. Him convincing James to make Peter his secret keeper. It was him who was convicted of betraying James and Lily Potter, of sentencing them to death. In the eyes of the law and the entire Wizarding World he was guilty and he didn't even have a fair trial but of course wizards rarely did except when it came to Lucius Malfoy who should have been in a cell next to him. Except he wouldn't have been, Sirius was lucky- if you'd call it that- that he could hear anything at all. He was in his own private cell, solitary confinement.

His thoughts would occasionally drift to his old friends but to really keep the dementors away. He knew he was innocent so that kept them at bay more so than the others. They fed on fear and despair so he focused on two things: his friends' deaths and Pettigrew's betrayal. Years passed or months Sirius found it increasingly more difficult to know when it was. He knew he had to get out somehow but those hopes were from long ago when he had first arrived. Surely by now Remus had come forward and told the ministry that he could transform himself into a dog.

The Minister stopped in for inspections, the only way now that Sirius knew the year. The Minister handed him newspapers whenever he saw him but sometimes he'd come every few months, once a year, or once every few years. It was Millicent Bagnold who gave him the news that his mother had died in the year of 1985. Then Cornelius Fudge was elected, Sirius received occasional Prophets from him but he barely looked at them. He was too focused on his friends' deaths and the betrayal of his supposed friend. He would kill him, if he ever got out. He would find him, turn him human, then kill him.

Twelve years had passed since his being sent to Azkaban. Twelve years of solitude. Twelve years of starvation. And twelve years of misery and shame. Once again Fudge returned for an inspection and handed him a newspaper upon request. Sirius recognized the faces on the front page. He saw Arthur and Molly Weasley along with their many children. There was Bill and Charlie, the oldest of the boys then Percy and the twins. He recalled Ron, who now must be Harry's age. He then recognized a small rat on Ron's shoulder. He was missing a toe. Sirius read and reread the article and the entire paper. He went through multiple past issues of the Daily Prophet. He saw that Ron and Harry were in quite some trouble the year previous due to a flying car. Sirius smiled for a second then picked up the Prophet from the year before. He noticed a gossip column written by Reeta Skeeter.

 **The Boy Who Lived arrives at Hogwarts**

 _Harry Potter sorted into Gryffindor_

 _Potter, age 11 was recently sorted into his parents' former house of Gryffindor. As well all know, it was at the age of 8 months he defeated You-Know-Who..._

Sirius stopped reading knowing that Skeeter was getting her facts wrong. He returned to the picture of the Weasleys and Pettigrew. Having spent years with Pettigrew as an Animagus he knew that rat anywhere. He could see Harry again, after all these years and avenge James and Lily's deaths. All he had to do was escape. He only waited until the night fell and transformed. It was easy to slip through the bars, being so thin. The dementors paid no mind for which he was grateful.

After swimming across the North Sea, Sirius made his way to Little Whinging. He ate scraps with the rest of the stray mutts and made his way to a local park. He heard the familiar wheels of a luggage case. It was like James stood before him. Harry stumbled upon seeing him as he had growled. Sirius hid in the bushes not meaning to scare the boy. Now all he had to do was find a way to get to Hogwarts.


End file.
